he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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