Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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