So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
