you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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