I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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