I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i now understand why vodka
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize