Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
