My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
