is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
