office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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