You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
