i can't believe i had my finger in that
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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