It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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