Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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