what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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