Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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