I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
