No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
