Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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