i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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