dude i'm inner monologue high
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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