what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If I die, sorry about rent.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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