you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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