I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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