thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize