I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
