After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
