no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
