So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
