I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize