Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
