oh fat girl friday strikes again...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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