you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
