i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
