I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
