you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize