So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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