Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
