apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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