I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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