I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Randomize
