I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
