Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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