I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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