Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
