this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
