Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
