yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
