i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
