did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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