If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
