He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
