He kissed a someone with a penis
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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