So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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