Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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