Pappa wants mamma naked
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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