..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I came so hard my ears popped.
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