I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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