So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize