I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
