I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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