Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
