You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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