Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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